To My Beloved Royalty...
I'd like to talk a little about what happened Friday.
I have severe anxiety and depressive disorders. I'm working to secure disabilitiy services to help me work and to keep a roof over my head and food on my table in the mean time.. I know you all want to help, and I don't like to make my mental illnesses/disabilities something that I talk about on this site. But sometimes there are bigger problems going on than will be apparent to you, the reader. So when you wonder why I'm not taking your advice NOW.... please trust that there are reasons. I honestly don't want to discuss these. They're not particularly things I'm proud of, I'm still coping with the notion that I have disabilities in the first place, and I'd rather keep them to myself and my circle of intimate friends and loved ones. However if you insist on giving me advice or instructions to tell me how to do this or that or the other, it can become a huge anxiety episode for reasons that wouldn't make sense to anyone and that I can't adequately explain myself. I don't completely understand why a bit of advice can feel like a life-or-death dilemma, but this is a reality of my illness.
So while you were all trying to help me get the strip posted last friday, please understand that I was coping with immense anxiety issues that made schlepping the strip to someplace else to upload very much not THE issue I had to contend with at the moment.
I can't completely understand it or make sense of this aspect of who I am. I'm not sure why little things like advice can put me into fight or flight mode. I don't really get it. Why is this a disability, why does it stand in the way of my functioning in the way others do? I don't know. Please just understand that, even failing to explain properly, this is the reality. So if I don't do what you tell me to ot what you suggest, there are reasons. And I may not want to talk about it.
Anyway, thank you for your understanding.