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Guest post by "z"

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Guest post by "Amy!"
Sarah can be as peeved as she wants.
The difference between binary and non-binary is huge. The difference between Sarah and Irma is huge. If nothing else, it makes me wish that GQ and TS were not lumped in together under some dumb umbrella term (I still think it's BS for there to be a "T" in "LGBT", by the way. I think it doesn't belong there).

When you believe your family doesn't love you, when you hate your own body (or what it will become, which came up before when Jules mentioned her dad's hairiness), have a medical diagnosis, and require medical intervention in order to achieve some semblance of peace in your life, when you need to go through a brutally difficult (and expensive!) transition that's the hardest thing you have ever done, but you know that it is saving your life...seeing people "play" with gender like that has a way or irking you. Yeah, it's wrong, but I can totally see why it is bothering Sarah. Irma just puts on a fucking sweater vest and says she's a boy one day. But not tomorrow. That bothers Sarah, and in the real world, it bothers a lot of binary TS people. At least, the ones that I know.

And I know I'm painting with a really broad brush here, so take all this with a grain of salt. It's just some of my thoughts on Sarah's reaction and how I see that reflected in everyday life.





You know what? NO.

I am non-binary and I have suffered EVERY SINGLE THING YOU LISTED THERE. And you know what? It is HARDER for us because even the @#$#@@ medical establishment doesn't acknowledge us. I spent so long trying to get the top surgery I needed because only ~men~ are allowed to have it. I have had therapists tell me that I don't exist, that what I need is invalid. Those precious gatekeepers would rather I had died than consider that their view of the world is too narrow.

And I STILL don't get accepted by your "binary TS" people, even though I've faced the same thing they have and worse. I have to face transsexual people telling me that I can't exist, shoveling the same CRAP they face from transphobes every day at me, never bothering to acknowledge the irony. I am so sick of people like you judging all non-binary people, erasing the pain that we feel every day.

Binarism has NOTHING to do with feeling like non-binary people don't understand the pain that binary trans people face. It is just ignorant bigotry the same as anything else.

Being genderfluid is really freaking difficult. Binary trans people area ble to transition and be reasonably certain they won't wake up one day and wish they had their old body back. Genderfluid people have to face waking up with dysphoria just as painful and unliveable as any transsexual person's- and know that if they do anything permanent about it, tomorrow they might wake up feeling dysphoria because suddenly their brain thinks the body they're born in is right. Being genderfluid means constantly bouncing between needing different bodies and presentation, your life turns into a balancing act of trying to find a way to always be comfortable enough to function, despite having contradictory needs.

And then I've met binary trans people who have next to no dysphoria, who have no problems presenting as cis of their assigned sex and who'll occasionally "crossdress" when it's safe to but usually present in line with their assigned sex. But we're the ones playing with gender? We're the ones who don't understand how hard it is?